So, I get this email.... (my notes in parenthesis)
Aloha,
My name is withheld and I'm an Account Executive at Honolulu Weekly alternative newspaper here in Oahu. I ran across your website on the web (oh! Is that where it was?) and thought I would contact you concerning our yearly Sustainability issue on April 16th. (right around Earth Day... once per year, that's big of you)
The issue will contain a 4 page, full color (not soy ink, I bet) insert that will focus on environmentally friendly businesses including recycled clothing, solar power (focusing solar power starts fires, ask ants), hybrid cars (Teslas use NO gas, beat that), holistic dentistry (wait... what?) and more. We are offering some pretty incredible prices (that could mean incredibly high, clever wording) that include 4 color and free ad production.
I have attached some information for you to look over. The deadline is April 11th and space is filling up fast, so if your are interested give me a shout (AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! BLAAAAAAH!) and I will reserve a space for you,(should be a period, not a comma)
I look forward to working with you,(first closing)
Have a great day,(second closing)
Ma-halo,(third closing, I think the email's over soon)
withheld
Now, aside from the fact that she should have spelled out the number four, and was really excited about the end of the email, I just couldn't let this go. A printed media outlet trying to squeeze some advertising money out of some legitimate ecological entrepreneurs (and some kooky "dentists") just stirs my stew. Maybe I was in a funny mood, but here's the response she received.
Hello withheld,
While we can certainly identify with the purpose of the issue, we can't justify paying to have our material printed on paper, and then ultimately thrown in the trash. Generally, given our surprisingly small marketing budget, we must focus on channels that have national reach for a few cents. We do, however, wish you the best of luck with your sustainability issue.
Good luck with that holistic dentistry,
Roy Steves
So yeah, if you're a greenwasher, and choose to email our snarky site, beware. I have a blog, and no shame. I guess that makes two of us.
